Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Ask Clem!

Ask Clem is a new feature with none other than, you guessed it, Clem! Every fortnight she will offer her advice regarding various different problems that may come up in the world of doll collecting. Take it away, Clem!

Dear Clem,

I am writing to ask for your advice on bonding. I was adopted by my very own Big Ol' Bossypants a couple of years ago and was relieved to get out of my box at last. I was the apple of her eye but now I spend more and more time stuck on the shelf, semi-naked. What can I do to change this situation? I can't take it anymore!

Thanks in advance,
Prima Dolly Amaryllis

Dear Pan,

I know how you are feeling as this has happened to me too. Well, not really but I'm trying to sympathise here. If I were in your  position I think I would find a way of (safely, I might add) flinging myself off the shelf to catch the attention of Bossypants. Is there a settee nearby or a cushion you might land on? At this point Bossypants will come running over in fright and check you over carefully for cracks or scratches. The goal here is to make her feel sorry for you and remember the fun you had together so look as pitiful as you can. I know it's hard with our plastic faces that so many Real Housewives aspire to but try your best. Sometimes it sucks to be beautiful.  

If this effort fails to get you dressed and/or some playtime or it's simply not safe to go about chucking yourself off ledges then I suggest dressing yourself in the prettiest outfit you can find and striking a pose. Your *cough* modesty *cough* will be covered at the very least and should catch the eye of your Bossypants and entice her into taking some photos. Don't worry about your Bossypants wondering how you got dressed. This will only make you more interesting to her. 

In summary, if your owner is having trouble bonding encourage them to have a dress-up and photo session with you. It does wonders and doesn't cost a penny. If your Bossypants like sewing/knitting/crochet/paper craft this is an extra bonus as you can have a lot of fun making an outfit together. It will give you a new lease of life too! If this fails to work I'm afraid it might be time to face facts and find a new home where you are given more attention. Here's hoping it doesn't come to that!

Lots of Love,

Next Wednesday my Bossypants will be sharing some photography tips.


  1. Haha. Good advice, Clem!

    Do all of your girls refer to you as bossypants? I thought it was only Parkin.

  2. Parkin has a good deal of influence around here and after all, everyone has a Bossypants in their lives! :)


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