Dear Diary: I'm Not a Quitter!

Dear Diary,

MI-5 turned me down flat. Can you bloomin' believe it!? They've missed a trick there, mate. Anyway, I'm Parkin, Parkin Parkin and I will not be deterred. I may have sulked for, like, a single day... or three but I'm in training now. They'll be knocking my door down begging for me to join 'em any day now.

There is just one small problem. I may need the help of Big Ol' Bossypants to, ahem, sew my crotch back up after I high kicked a little too high. It was a bit of a shock feeling the breeze down there I can tell you although it did solve the serious camel toe problem I was having at the time. Oh diary, I know it's not appropriate but every cloud has a silver lining.

Stay sexy,

Parkin

xox